Jealousy

Jealousy is what makes me weak; it makes me vulnerable, leaving me helpless in the end. The only person who could alleviate this grief I feel within would be the particular person who stabs me in the back emotionally. That particular person taught me how to smile and cry, all at the same time. Things have been so different when I had parted ways with this particular someone. Now that this person is close to other people, I could not help but get jealous. My jealousy hinders me from doing my best. Right now, I’m so distracted for being so jealous that is why, my “serious free fall”, is when I flunked my grades last quarter and not being able to fulfill some dreams I would want to achieve because of being distracted by the hurt that has been accumulating in my entire body.

Kevin Gnapoor

Yo Yo Yo!
All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me!
On my grades, on my lines you can't touch Kevin G!
I'm a mathlete, I'm a nerd,
But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third,
Sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor!

The G's silent when I sneak through your door.
And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor.
I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me.
Cause the next time you see her she'll be like 'OOH! KEVIN G!'

Screw Up

I feel so wasted with what has been going on with my life right now. I feel so miserable.I used to be happier before, but right now, things are beginning to get peculiar. I was not accepted in the ECOSONG because of, I guess, my stupid grades. I know that I'm responsible for being not able to join the team, thus I blame myself for that. It's just that, there are certain things that distract and bother me right now. I have not adjusted with the fourth year athmosphere. It hasn't sunk in yet that I am actually a senior. Another is that pag nakikita ko silang magkasama, at masaya sa piling ng isa't isa.

I justwant to tell that certain person, what I feel within, but I can't predict what will happen yet. It frightens me to think of what will happen next. I've never felt like THIS WASTED in my entire life. It was only just now, WHEN IM ALREADY IN 4TH YEAR.

Our emotions are so strong that sometimes, our emotions rule over us. Our own emotions are in control of ourselves; Thus, it makes us hard for us to fight back. Sometimes, when our emotions are in control, we recognize our weaknesses and these weaknesses accumulate and hinder us from growing. Our emotions hinder us from doing our best.

Controlling my emotions is truly my weakness. Oftentimes, I let my emotions take over me which is SO WRONG and SO STUPID.

I must learn to let go and move on. I must learn that I don't always get what I always want.

I learned a valubale lesson today, and I owe it all to my friend, Pauline Nicole Tan.

Another weakness of mine, is learning to move on and let go. Like the situation I'm having right now.
It seems that I have a hard time enjoying my 4th yearlife because of the nostalgia that i feel towards my Junior Life. Its not that I'm really sad that I'm already in 4th year, It's just that, I just REALLY MISS my junior life..

Kung masaya ka, dapat masaya na rin ako.

BUT WHY DOES MY JEALOUSY DOMINATES WITHIN ME??!

It is certainly not my prerogative to get angry at them, because it's not their fault anyway. It is I who is to be blamed. I'm the person who is hurting my own self.

Vf= Vo + at

Have you ever experienced being clueless when answering a particular exam or test?

..I DID.

TEENSTAR. Shocks pare ang hiraaaap.


Many questions were left unanswered by me, due to the fact that I was not able to study the subject matter. I was suppose to wake up during 2 am in the morning to review teenstar and accounting. Unfortunately, my HEARING SENSES were not able to hear the friggin sound of my cellphone alarm.


Wahahahaness. Bagsakis. (!)

UNworthy UNimportant

I was happier before, and now I must let go and move on.

BUT ALL I WANTED WAS TO TALK TO YOU, but then, you mutter those words that made me feel UNWORTHY and UNIMPORTANT

How could you?

I should tell you, I should tell you, I should..NO!
You don't have to know, I know that muttering those words (It makes me jealous seeing THEM with you, and you, you're simply, it seems as though, you are already avoiding me)

It's not easy. I pity you so much. Little did you know, that behind your back, I loathe you so, you just don't know how it feels, to wait for NOTHING.

...Kung pwede lang sana,nakapatay na ako ng tao kung yun lang ang dahilan para maging akin ka muli.Lagi naman kasinh SIYA or SILA eh. PURO NALANG SILA. I just wanna tell you how I feel, BUT , I reckon that venting out my emotions might make simple things complicated.
Gusto ko na talaga isumbat sa muka mo na NASASAKTAN AKO. Nahihirapan na ako.

Waaaah! I'm failing my grades. Feeling nostalgic over the past years makes me a failure this year. It's hard to move on with your life when you still cling onto your past. It hinders you from doing your best as well.

UPCAT

I had my UPCAT yesterday.
(1 down, 6 more schools to go AAACK XP)

Anyway, I still took the UPCATeven though I was at "my boiling point"(I still have my fever). When I got home, I slept on my comfortable bed right away.

Thanks for those people who wished us luck, but we couldn't just rely on pure luck right?

Anyway, the test was fine; however, there were so many questions left unanswered by me. (tsssss) I don't want to get a deduction from a wrong guess kasi. Haha. Yeah.

The test was easier that what I expected it to be, but still, it was hard, but tolerable.

Halos yung mga pinag aralan ko hindi naman lumabas. Yung mga iniisip kong siguro konti lang yung lalabas, ..patay. The test contradicted my "hypothesis" yucks :)

Hahaha. I'll make bawi bawi nalang sa other schools (haha conyotic!). UP is not the only school that is in store for me. Pero mas maganda pumasa sa UP kasi makakasave ka ng money. Haha. Tska, Pag UP big time sa iba. Hahahaha :)

I reckon that I won't be able to pass. Yung Science nga, shinotgun ko nalang eh. Hahaha. I was so clueless when it comes to the Science test. Grrrrness. :) I was surprised with the English test because it was very easy. Well, it was easy. :) Kasi, basta madali siya, lalo na kung nag aral ka at kung yung teachers mo kasing galing ni Mrs. Benitez and Miss Platon :)

Crap

UPCAT is.....

TOMORROW NA PALA. OH CRAP. I have been studying, yes, but not really that "intensive", you know what I mean. Hahaha.

I've been sick for three consecutive days. Ugh. Wrong timing.. I missed two sessions of reviews from school. (CRAP!!!!!) I've been wanting to go back to school, but as far as "the authorities" are concerned, I am adviced not to go back to school yet.

I might be hospitalized and I won't be able to take my UPCAT anymore. (that sucks.. all the hardships I've encountered while reading, scanning and recalling my past lessons will just be drained) craaapppppp!!!

Hmmmmm, my "medicine" is not saying a word or two! :(

I am sick, my medicine is to talk to you (got that crap from cheezy lines by stradmore notes)
If only you knew, that you are my medicine...(so cheeeeezy)

UPCAT's tomorrow. According to MsPlaton "nakakatakot nga kasi lahat ng tao nadadalian"

hmmm, siguro sa standards nila madali, sa standards ko.. uhhhm.. nakakasabaw ng sobra ng utak... ang mahirap sa kanila.. uhhhm.. siguro yung tipong magpapakamatay nalang ako kasi nakakapatay sagutin ang mga toh. goodness!

I feel so dumb right now. O_O 'nuff said.

Amidst my fever...

This day was pure bliss. (although I was sick a while ago)

It's fun to discuss in front of students. (yehes kinakarir), pero nakakakaba rin. Hahaha.

Grabe, may lagnat ako kanina, that's why I missed some quizzes and I missed my training.

But amidst all that, something spectacular happened to me a while ago.

Hahaha :) Wala lang, I was able to talk to *tooooot* again. Hahaha! :) Grabe, Thank you so much for making my day. Naisip ko, sana madalas nalang ako nagkakalagnat kung ito ang tanging paraan para makapiling ka. Hahaha. Takte ang corny ko. :) Thanks talaga hah?! :)

Natural Highs

Sending and Receiving "I LOVE YOU" and other sweet messages for and from FRIENDS and ACQUAINTANCES. :)

Alleviating a sadness of a friend :)

Waaah. Alleviating seems to be my favorite word right now. Haha :)

Blogging

Mrs. Dino warned us about our blogsposts. Ooooh. My fellow blogmates, hinay hinay sa mga nilalagay natin. Minsan, hindi natin alam, nakakatapak na pala tayo ng dignidad ng tao. Sometimes, we become unaware that we are already hurting someone's feelings because of our various ramblings and rants.We should know our limitations and we must learn to respect the feelings of others. I'm not sure if I hurt someonw with some of my previous blogs, but if I did, I humbly apologize for being so irresponsible and insensitive.

Anyway, enough with the drama.

This might seem corny, but I'm getting so hooked up with Telenovelas on ABS CBN. Haha. Lalo na sa Bituin Walang Ningning, pati My Girl. Haha! Oh No, alam na ni Annika (yehes! kapangalan ko siya,well almost) na hindi magpinsan si Jullian at Jasmine. I think she'll make sumbong sumbong na to the grandpa of Jullian(paak! cheneen, ang conyotic mo pre) Hahaha! Wala lang, perothis show gives me a good laugh aaah! Haha! :) It somewhat alleviates the exasperations I feel within.

Laughter is truly imminent. I mean, you should at least have a dose of laughter before the day ends. Haha. Ampangit naman kasi nung feeling na, you'll be sleeping with a frown on your face.

I should really be studying right now. OOOOOOH! The more I convince myself, the more na tinatamad ako. (paaak!)

I'll be discussing Misplaced Modifier in front of the whole class. Haha! (uuuy, ang pangarap kong maging guro, unti unting natutupad) Haha. Ave suggested to start my discussion with KOKOLOGY(Yehes, following the footsteps of Miss Platon) Nyaaak!

I had fun during PROSEC. Nakakabaliw makipag usap sa "clueless martian". Haha.

Silent Treatment = Genloss = Miscommunication

Nainis ako kaninang lunch time. Sana di nalang nangyari yun eh. But heck it. Good thing I have my friends to back me up, and somehow, they ease away the troubles that bother me.


Minsan tuloy naisip ko, sana hindi nalang kita nakikita. Sana totoo nga na aalis ka na, at pupunta ka ng ibang bansa. Lalo lang kasi akong nasasaktan pag nakikita ko na, iba na ang mga nagiging kapiling mo. Busy na ako, busy ka na, Our busy schedule is what keeps us apart. I'm trying my best to let go. But trying to let go, makes my heart grow fonder. The more na kinukulit kita, it still makes my heart grow fonder. PANO BA KITA MALELET GO KUNG SA LAHAT NALANG NG GINAGAWA KO, IT MAKES MY HEART GROW FONDER.

Word of the day: ambiguous. 'nuf said.

Waaah! I have to double my efforts in Mathematics. I think I failed my Physics quiz a while ago. 'fudge!
I will, hopefully, be meeting Socorro Ramos on Friday. We'll have a panel discussion brought by the Kalayaan people. Haha. It's for their Entrep Project. NICE! :) I'm eager to meet my idol on Friday!!